Like myself, Allan Boyko, editor for the Budapest Times (BT), is a Canadian. In the course of the…(yikes…is it really five years?)…I have been writing for the Budapest Times, Allan has become a friend as well as a delightful and reliable source of fresh cynical perspectives on the days when I let my cynical guard down and was plagued by ill-founded, optimistic thoughts. Allan helps cure those ills.
Allan is a man of few words; a remarkable quality rarely seen in editors and not a fault I have ever been accused of harboring by anyone who has known me for more than five minutes, let alone five years.
I began writing for the Budapest in much the way I arrived in Budapest: on a whim and suffering from an acute case of optimism. That ailment was soon cured, as I became more familiar with the ways things don’t work in Hungary and as I became more at home with doom and despair and abysmal customer service.
What? Me worry?
On the days when I apparently stepped on some Jobbik toes and handwritten, threatening late-night letters with no return address or signatures were delivered to me via the Budapest Times’ office, Allan assured me I had nothing to worry about. Of course, we all know he was wrong: I had plenty to worry about. It wasn’t thugs scurrying around under the cover of darkness like cockroaches. No. It was the economy. But then, the economy has been a worry for every country with the exception of oil-producing countries and countries supplying cheap labour; the kind you can get in abundance from totalitarian, communist regimes whom we once called the enemy but with whom we’re now rather chummy. (Money can do that.)
Allan has been a guiding darkness. On days when I thought everything was hopeless and futile, Allan saved me from looking on the bright side and setting myself up for further disappointment. Working with Allan has been inspirational.
Gone but not forgiven
For those who do not already know, Allan is leaving the Budapest Times. It is my understanding he is considering a return to Canada although this is not entirely true because if he does return to Canada, he will be returning to Alberta which is as much a part of Canada as Texas is a part of the United States. For those who have not brushed up on their Canadian geography or history, it is helpful to know that Canada has two such non-member domains, one being Alberta and the other being Quebec. During the oil crisis in the seventies, many Albertans put bumper stickers on their pick-up trucks that read, “Let the eastern bastards freeze”. This did nothing to ingratiate Albertans with the rest of Canada because really what they meant was “Let those Ontarian bastards freeze.” The bumper sticker especially annoyed people in the Maritimes (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and possibly Newfoundland, depending on who you talk to and on what day) who were sick to death of people referring to Ontario as eastern Canada because really it is central Canada. Hungarians should understand this because many of them are sick to death of being painted with the Eastern European brush, far preferring to be painted with the Central European brush.
Quebec is another, distinctive story. Let it suffice that as you drive into Quebec City, the capital of the province of Quebec, you will see a large billboard that reads “Bienvenue à la capitale de notre pays” or “Welcome to our country’s capital”.
I am sure if Allan does venture to Canada he may soon return to Hungary once he realizes Canada is no less insane than Hungary. Canada just happens to have more money than Hungary which is no doubt a draw when you’re coming from a country where having money is nothing more than an elusive aspiration (the weather not withstanding). Speaking of withstanding, how does minus forty degrees Celsius sound (before the wind chill factor)?
Misery loves company
With Allan’s departure, my time at the Budapest Times is also coming to an end. I have enjoyed writing for you and I thank those of you who have nothing better to do than follow my blog, Three Years On Mars. I appreciate it. I will continue to write for the blog and will do everything I can to keep to the same schedule although having a newspaper deadline is a proven cure for procrastination, should you be prone to that.
I will also try to maintain a healthy sense of irreverence, providing disrespect to those who deserve it and try from time to time to use light humour to address chronic absurdity. In politics, there is no end of material when it comes to absurdity.
With Allan’s departure, the Budapest Times will undoubtedly change at least to some degree. But it should still darken your doorstep and your frame of mind just prior to the beginning of your weekend.
Allan has been with the Budapest Times for a decade and as such we all think he is deserving of a token of gratitude from his colleagues and if I may be so bold, even long-term followers of his handiwork in the Budapest Times, such as you. That is why we are taking up a collection to purchase Allan a gold Rolex. Money can be contributed through stuffed envelopes, PayPal, Western Union or the money-laundering financial institution of your choice. (Despite this being a legitimate charitable endeavor, we apologize as we are unable to provide tax receipts at this time.)
I hope the remainder of your summer is enjoyable. Thank you for enduring my indulgences and I hope we continue to meet here on Mars.
Tagged: Alberta, Allan Boyko, Jobbik, Maritimes, New Brunswick, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Ontario, Paypal, Prince Edward Island, Quebec, Texas, The United States, Western Union
